Inside This Mind.

07.16.2007 * 3:36 p.m.
A stranger called me "sweetheart"

I start school in less than a month. Guess how much preparation I have done so far? None. That's right, I am a lame-o teacher. It's not that I am a bad teacher or that I don't care, but I'm busy. When I'm not busy with work at the vet's, I'm spending time with friends or going to church activities. If none of those are occupying my time, I'm usually relaxing or being lazy with my man. I know I should do some planning, and I'm going to really soon, like once I'm done writing here. I promise.
Probably.

I liked the Harry Potter movie, but I am way more excited to read the book when it comes out Saturday. This may be a little bit sick of me, but I kind of hope Barry is out of town this weekend so that I can read without feeling guilty for not spending time with him. I'm not really a super nerd, I just really like to read, and I'm fond of Harry Potter.

07.09.2007 * 4:54 p.m.
The past, present, and future.

Saturday, my old-time best friend and I threw a party. People who I love dearly but rarely see gathered in my backyard for several hours. We talked, laughed, ate, and enjoyed being together. It was incredible. The fact that I can still happily spend time with people who were my closest friends when I was 13 years old must be some kind of miracle. I had so much fun. I love my friends and will never let those people out of my life. Even my ex and his wife were there, for goodness sakes. If that doesn't prove that I do not easily part with those that I adore, I don't know what does.

Today I was lazy, and as I fumbled in and out of sleep in the late morning, I had a strange dream. I was suddenly back in the presence of The Spaniard and suddenly very much back in love with him. My current boy appeared (in the form of the ex, strangely enough) and was upset, but I couldn't justify staying with him since this previous love was back in my life. My emotions were high and thoughts were racing through my mind at unstoppable speeds. That Spaniard. What if I do see him again? How will that make me feel? I think I know, and I don't know that that would be a good thing.

I sometimes wonder if I am knowingly choosing a lifestyle that is less than what I deserve. The amazing part of life is that I know I can be happy no matter where I end up, because I am in control of my attitude and my joy. However, things could be so different for me. Keep in mind that "different" doesn't necessarily mean "better" or "happier" but it could. Couldn't it?

Nevermind. I choose for this, now, to be the best, to be the happiest, to be the life for me. The sun is shining, my faith is growing, and my relationships are eternal. Nothing could be better.