Inside This Mind.

12.31.2005 * 7:29 p.m.
"Love is all you need..."

I think it's fitting that the world specialists on official time have decided to make the year 2005 last one second longer. I know they're doing it to make up for the slight change in the speed of the earth's rotation, but I like to tell myself that the extra second of 2005 is to differentiate this, the best year ever, from the many others.

I remember this day exactly a year ago. I remember driving to LAX, picking up Chaney, talking in the car on the way back to SB. I remember him telling me that he didn't want to fall asleep -as jetlagged as he was- because he wanted to keep talking to me, because he said he had missed my voice. I remember driving to the dance in Santa Maria with my best friends in my car. I remember touring the huge house and sitting on the couches feeling the cold coming through the open windows. I remember dancing with Chaney, the way he held me closely to him for the first time ever, and the way that I felt perfectly safe in his arms. I can think of no better way to have brought in the new year.

My 2005 has been wonderful. It hosted many new friendships, laughter and long walks on beaches. Unforgetable relationships were formed and strengthened and I will never be the same because of them. Thankfully, there were no deaths in my family. There were losses and struggles and challenges that seemed impossible. There were consequent tears and angry words. But there was so much growth that I feel a hundred feet tall. I graduated from college with honors. I moved home and worked like never before, forced to make new friends and start a new life in an old environment. The first six months of the year were very different from these last six, and though I'm happy where I am now I know when and where I was happiest.

This year has been made most amazing because of love. My friends, I love you. The friendships that have grown over the past year have been extremely influential in my personal development. Thank you for being who you are and for sharing some of your light with me. I have seen love and felt love in ways that exceeded my every expectation. Most importantly, I have seen genuine Christlike love in real people and now know that it is a quality I will always seek in myself and in those close to me.

I have a hard time believing that an entire year has passed since that night in Santa Maria. The start of 2006 brings some changes to my life but change is good so I'll roll with whatever comes my way.

Goodbye, Happiest Year! Hello, Happy New Year! (Be good to me, please.)