Inside This Mind.

11.29.2004 * 10:30 p.m.
we decorated for christmas.

i like the fact that my roommates love each other so much that we end up on the floor laughing after a group hugging in celebration that we will not be split up.

11.28.2004 * 4:07 p.m.
12 Days until I'm done with Fall Quarter!

Happy Sunday. The drive down to school-town on Friday evening was nice. There was some thick fog south of Santa Maria, but I liked it. The trees and hills on the side of the road covered with a blanket of cold fog looked like something out of an old movie and it made me smile.

Today, church was good. It was one of those Sundays where all of the talks and lessons seem to be catered to me, hitting on just the points that I need to hear most at that moment. Those days always leave me a little high. I'm looking forward to this Christmas season and thinking that maybe I can do a little more this year. Maybe I can make a bit more of a difference in the lives of those around me. I hope so.

(Rejoice with me, everyone! Napoleon Dynamite comes out on dvd on December 21st! Woohoo!)

*What the crap is going on? I've used capitalization in this entry. That's rather unusual. There must be something in the air.*

11.25.2004 * 10:33 p.m.
turkey day.

thanksgiving, eh? i'm not feeling it.
sure, i was thankful to sleep in this morning and have my cat on my bed with me. grateful to be in this house with all of the physical blessings it provides. glad to spend time with my family and my aunt and uncle, to talk to my grandpa on the phone. pleased with the food. happily lazy watching movies on the new tv.
but then it happened. the same thing that happens every time i come home; the regression to bitterness that is inevitably prompted by the presence or actions of my father. what is that about? i wish i knew. all the same, it happened, i became a bitter, angry little beast and have remained such since. what a wonderful way to spend the evening. i'm full of four-letter words even after having let out a significant amount of them. i hate this regression crap.
fueling my fire is the strange absence of my best friend, making this town feel a little less like home. this is the first time i've come home from school-town that he hasn't been here. i feel almost naked and i can't help but miss him. he and his family are family to me, holidays have been shared for so long that, well, i don't know. i called his mom and wished her a happy thanksgiving. that made me feel a little bit better.

i don't know why i am so blessed as to have the friends that i do, here and there. daniel tuutau makes my life a better place, i'm sure of it.

and just remember, a cemetary is a good place to cry because no one thinks it odd to happen upon a girl crying in a cemetary.