Inside This Mind.

07.01.2005 * 11:05 a.m.
flawed.

Okay, so last night and this morning we reestablished the fact that I am needy. Hey world: I AM NEEDY! but only when it comes to a few, extremely important, vital resources.

07.01.2005 * 1:29 a.m.
close enough to touch.

The faint aroma of chlorine lingers on my skin. I love that smell, it reminds me of summers as a child, of laughter and days spent in the sun. How long had it been since I last went swimming? Too long. My eyes are a little irritated, unaccustomed to the sting of the chemicals. I played monkey-in-the-middle with a koosh ball, I sat in a hot tub and my toes turned into white wrinkled prunes.

The dense night fog here reflects the orange of the streetlights and gives the sky an eerie glow. Mist clings to my hair and clothes, water droplets cloud my windshield, sounds vibrate with amazing clarity. While looking at the fog around me tonight all I could think was that I'd like it to envelop me. I'm not sure why, but I'd like to find a dense patch of dark fog and wander aimlessly, unable to see ahead or the ground underfoot. Complete abandonment of my most relied upon sense might be liberating. If wrapped in a dreamlike blanket of fog, unseen by others and invisible to myself, my location would be indeterminable and become unimportant. 'Where' would cease to matter.
Maybe, if I was unaware of my location I would be able to feel his hand in mine.