Inside This Mind.

07.06.2005 * 10:50 a.m.
welcome to the fourth annual summer depression.

Something was wrong with me last night. We watched a movie about the construction of the Salt Lake Temple during institute class and I kept getting teary-eyed for the strangest reasons. I couldn't help it. I felt so low and empty. I know why. I am currently burdened by a couple of trials. Occassionally they hit me at once and then I fall down. I know I can and will pull through each of them, but that requires a bit of time. Moments like last night, when I just want to crawl into a cave and hide, I have a hard time remembering to keep an eternal perspective and put a smile on my face.

Friends help. Prayers and scripture study help. Blue skies help. A Spaniard helps, and he doesn't even mean to.

07.05.2005 * 11:17 a.m.
Graceful.

Allow me to explain to you how skilled I am. About twenty minutes ago I was hungry. I hadn't yet eaten breakfast so I got myself a bowl of cereal. I poured the milk and was sitting down to eat when I decided to lean forward across the table and open the window blinds to let in a little more light. "That's better." I briefly thought to myself as I sat back down. Then I felt an extremely cold wetness seeping onto my thighs. Way to knock my entire bowl of cereal into my lap. Bravo Sarah. I sat there for a few seconds in complete wonder and awe at my ability to catch the entire mess right where it counts. I cleaned it off some and headed to my room to change pants. There was no way to avoid looking in the mirror at the end of the hall on the way to my room, and once I saw myself I couldn't help but laugh. Just my crotch was soaked and it looked, very authentically, like I peed my pants.

Too bad all of my roommates are asleep and no one else got to see.