Inside This Mind.

07.23.2005 * 11:43 p.m.
I checked the weather where you might be.

I'm tired but I absolutely must document this day:

5:10am, awoken by coughing fit. No big deal, the alarm was set for 5:15am. I drove to LA because the planned driver needed to catch up on sleep in the car. Temple. Baptisms. Beautiful. Waited outside by the reflecting pool while my friends did their session. Waited and watched friendly saints walk by. Young pairs going in to be married, precious elderly couples holding hands. I want all of that. There was an old hunched over man with a big smile and children with laughing faces. I love the temple.

Drove back to SB, Pioneer Day festivities. Ate, Chatted, left.

The beach with Jason. I swam in the ocean. I stood in the water and yelled out to the waves "THIS IS MY LAST WEEKEND IN SANTA BARBARA! I WILL MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU, GOLETA BEACH!" Waves and sand and sun. My beach doesn't feel the same during the day on summer weekends, there are too many people. (Like on the Sunday Nathan opened his mission call.) I prefered the cold quiet evenings there, alone. Together.

Erin, Daina, ice cream.

A movie in Jesse's backyard.

I parked my car tonight and checked all four door handles to make sure they were locked before I could walk away. Approaching the gate to my apartment, I was disappointed that there was no one on my cellphone making sure I got home safely.

I need to sleep. I need to dream.