Inside This Mind.

08.29.2005 * 12:37 p.m.
blah

When I'm tired from not enough sleep and work is slow and I stand around bored with little to do feeling guilty that I am being paid, I feel down. And when I feel down I get lonely, and when that happens I miss one person an awful lot.

08.28.2005 * 7:02 p.m.
I am.

Today has been one of those Sundays that is so amazingly refreshing and uplifting that I left church floating with a smile on my face and a hymn in my heart. It's comforting and reassuring to be able to feel the Spirit and be touched in such a way so as to be reminded of just exactly who and what I am.

I carpooled for the first time here, which meant for the first time here I did not enter the church building alone. For the first time here I did not sit in the chapel and wonder if I'd be alone because I have two goofy guy friends that I knew would sit with me. For the first time here I was greeted with a hug by a girl. Then, in Sunday school, I sat with an old acquaintance. She's sweet and I think we could be friends because I think there are no longer hard feelings between us from when we both wanted the same boyfriend and I got him. (man slayed.) I stayed after church and attended the baptism of a girl I do not know, but oh what an amazing feeling filled that room.

I hold so many titles, I am so many things. I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a child. I am a friend, a penpal, an ex-roommate, an ex-girlfriend. I am a listener, a talker, a dreamer, a dream. I am a latter-day saint, I am a child of God, I am a believer. I am not always confident, I am missing my love, I am scared of the future. But I am strong, happy, free, and content, because I am here, I am for real, I am in the process of becoming so much more. And I know who I am.