Inside This Mind.

10.22.2004 * 5:23 p.m.
this entry deserves no title.

i just got home and was slightly relieved at the realization that i would have the apartment to myself for a bit. alone for a little while is okay, especially if i actually get some studying done. alone for too long isn't very good. i'll have to go hunting for friends later. it's so much easier when all the amazing roomies are here.

i tried to plan out my schedule for next quarter. already time to register again. deadlines are approaching left and right, yet i have not begun the grad school application process. i will. i promise. i'm just terrified of the future. (way to go me, saying that after Bro Mount's talk today about fear being the opposite of faith. ooops.) yes, i am afraid because each time i need to make a choice regarding my life as a student the decisions become more difficult and the consequences more permanent. my brain is a jumble of questions and possiblities. follow Dug's example? move home and get teaching credentials? stay here and work? leave the state? i need to keep my options open, which is why i'm going to apply to grad school very very soon.

ah life. i wonder if i'll be able to pull it off. i really hope i have the happiness i want. i hope i have the success to provide happiness to those who need my care.
i suddenly miss my big brother very much.