Inside This Mind.

03.27.2007 * 10:12 p.m.
"Don't anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it."

I renewed you today, my beloved gold account. Diaryland is dear to me so I feel good about contributing financially. I throw Andrew a little cash, he gives me a corner of the internet where I can be safe from annoying advertisements.

In other news, I was visited by the Spaniard in my dreams last night. He was a missionary, as he is right now in reality, and (Tanya, this is funny...) he and his young German companion just happened to be in my area. They stopped by and we took some pictures together. I knew how to use his camera, so I took plenty shots of my beautiful face for him to admire later. Dreams are always difficult to grasp once I am awake because the feelings are faded and hard to explain, but I remember feeling very loved as I spoke with him. Before they left, the Spaniard looked me in the eyes and said, "Something that rhymes." which I knew meant "I love you." He couldn't actually say it because missionaries can't say those kind of things to girls, apparently not even in dreams.
I woke up feeling flustered and missing him as I have not missed him in a long time. I prayed for him and sent him my love. As I rolled over to fall back asleep I realized that his camera in the dream was familar to me because it is actually the Cowboy's dad's camera - so my unconscious mind mixes boyfriends' possessions. Then I had a weird realization. We used to say, "If I could, I would." as our way of saying, "I love you so much that I would marry you if I could right now." Something that rhymes, huh? Oh my little Spaniard, stop haunting my dreams. Send me a letter if you really care.

Besides, I have a boyfriend.

-Abrupt Topic Change-
My friend's dad was killed today in a motorcycle accident. It's terrible. This man was so kind, his family is wonderful, and my friend such a sweet boy, it breaks my heart.
At the same time, tragedy like this reminds me that I have amazing, loving friends. Those of us who were a close group in high school still keep in touch. We care about each other, we call so that the news is heard from friends instead of strangers, we offer support, we see how we can help. My favorite part is when we say "I love you" as we get off the phone. I can't imagine my life without these people.

I hope my boy and his family are okay. I can hardly imagine how difficult this must be.