Inside This Mind.

02.05.2005 * 1:54 a.m.
addict.

Today I finally got to lie in the sun on the grass. I spent an hour on the lawn at Institute between classes, and it was delightful. If I can manage an hour -or even half an hour!- in the direct sunlight in the middle of the day, maybe three days a week, I think I'd be a happier person. (Oh No! That whole paragraph just confirmed the dreaded fact that I am becoming my dad. Great. I guess it really is unavoidable.)
Fridays are generally wonderful, and today followed that pattern. Classes were good. The Sunshine was good. Talking on the phone to friends was good (one of them has the last name of Goods). The Catshelter was good. Hanging out with Three Chaneys at once was really good. Being home this evening was good. So, overall, I'm thinking we could describe this day as... Good. yeah.
The Mom will be here tomorrow when I'm done with work. Awesome!

02.03.2005 * 11:56 a.m.
It's Thursday already?

I checked over my requirements and my progress in college. After this quarter, I'll only need 3 upper division biology units to complete my major. I'll only need 5.5 units to graduate. That's freaking amazing.

I promise I'm not really a gloomy, grumpy punkface, that's just how I seem right now. Apparently, being 14% of the world's garbage has taken its toll on me. But really, I'm a happy person. On the inside I'm smiles and laughter, I swear. It's just that the struggle to keep my eyes open most of the day seems like a waste of energy. I feel like I should just give in and sleep. Curl into a little ball under my black comforter and stay there. Quiet. Warm.
Maybe I'm feeling down because it's beautiful outside and I am inside. I live in southern California by the ocean. I want to spend the entire day in the sunshine and fresh air, lying in warm grass, breathing in aromas of an early blooming spring. But I can't. Nope. Between school and work there's never very much time to just be. Even when there is a break during daylight, I'm too highstrung to relax. I really should fix that.

Music from Amelie has been popping into my head periodically for the past week. I love the way that movie makes me feel.

Now, please excuse me, Reality is calling.

-Happy February 3rd. Wo xihuan ni.-