Inside This Mind.

07.14.2005 * 11:01 p.m.
everything makes me think of you.

Things I already knew but was reminded of today:
I really enjoy being around my brother.
Walking to a friend's house is strangely more liberating than driving.
Corn on the cob is delicious.
I love phone conversations with friends because staying in touch is important.
Only I am in control of my feelings and I need to choose to be happy. (I'm making progress.)
Applying to schools scares me. Making major decisions of any kind scares me.
I'm a chicken.
The boy I love was more than just my boyfriend, he was also my very closest friend. I miss being able to talk to him in real-time about anything and everything.
Running through a sprinkler on a warm evening is refreshing and invigorating.

07.13.2005 * 1:29 p.m.
I miss the ocean, my friends, and my boy.

Livermore is hot. There is no morning fog, no cool ocean breeze, no cover from the fierce summer sun overhead. Any form of activity outdoors results in sweating profusely, but at least the heat is dry and there is no humidity to leave me feeling gross. The heat sucks away my motivation to move and kills my desire to eat. I have plenty to do in my room, but working upstairs in the middle of the day is a bad idea, so that will have to wait until the cooler environment of evening.

Later today I will attend an advisement meeting regarding the teaching credential program I'm hoping to start in January. Because I am a pessimist I have a terrible fear that the people there will tell me that I suck, that there is no way for me to get in, and that I should spend the rest of my pathetic life alone in a gutter where I belong. Hopefully that does not happen.

Now excuse me while I find something productive to do with my time.