Inside This Mind.

09.27.2004 * 12:27 p.m.
listen to me whine a little

free time and an active brain can be used for productive, imaginative, wonderful things. so why do i always turn them into the opposite? i have much to do but little motivation. where did my work ethic go? why did i fall in love with a guy who isn't ready for me? why can't i relax and rely on my faith and hope? (it went out the window. because love never makes sense and timing is essential. and because i'm a high-strung control freak.)
happy freaking monday.

09.26.2004 * 10:45 p.m.
oh.

i like sundays. my mom was here and came to church with me this morning. that was good and cool and nice. it was fast sunday, so after church we all went to the break-the-fast at institute and ate some delicious food. (jamie made the most wonderful cheesey potatos. mmm. so good.) i hung out at the institute for a while after everyone else left, just waiting for the time to pass before i headed off to a Relief Society Broadcast. the time alone in the institute was much needed. i just sat and thought for a while, read some beloved scriptures, looked over the books in the library, and read some other stuff. i couldn't help but think a lot about that one guy, and it occured to me that i am sadly boy obsessed. i don't know why i'm this way, but it must be programmed into my behavior as a female at this age. my roommate is experiencing the same technical difficulties. why oh why? i know it's for a reason -everything is- i just wish that these tedious thoughts about non-existant relationships and fine young men wouldn't take presidence over the more immediate issues that are bouncing around in my brain. gah!
i don't want to go to school tomorrow. waaaah. but i will persist and succeed. and in only four days i will be well on my way to utah with some of my greatest friends.
(tanya is not a horrible nasty person. i love her ridiculously huge amounts.)