Inside This Mind.

10.08.2004 * 5:46 p.m.
another weekend.

ahhh, back into the old swing of things. the routine of slacking off and procrastinating has started afresh with this school-year. it's charming yet terrifying and i can't really explain my behavior. i procrastinate, i stress, i mess up, i feel down on myself for having known better, but then i turn around and do it all again. it's a sick video loop running over and over. somebody save me from myself.
on a completely different note, sometimes, when seeking closure, one just needs to ask. living in reality becomes much easier once said closure has been obtained.
moving on.

10.06.2004 * 2:17 p.m.
microbiological melt down.

last night at 6pm i was miserably failing a quiz in my microbiology section. as i sat in the awkward little desk, stumbling through my brain in search of the knowledge that must be retained in there somewhere, i happened upon a thought that made all of the peptidoglycans of Gram+ bacteria insignificant. it no longer mattered that the word i was thinking of but couldn't remember was "lysosyme." true or false? who cared! at that same moment, some 300 miles north of where i sat, in a beautiful temple on the hills in Oakland, my best friend was having a life-changing experience. the happiness and excitement i feel when i think about that boy -how much he has grown over the years, how far he has come, how much i care for him- is overwhelming. that punk. i'm envious.

regardless, the kid is coming to visit next weekend. it will be excellent to see him, it always is. sometimes it's hard to fathom how much we have been through, how much of each other's lives we have shared over the years. it's nearly impossible for me to keep anything from him. i'm so thankful for that type of friendship. he's been a lifesaver.

(ladies in san diego, watch out for those sailors! my cousin is now stationed there! yay! hopefully i'll get to see him soon.)

10.04.2004 * 2:33 p.m.
states.

i went to utah. i spent time with some amazing friends. i saw some friends i've missed. i saw autumn colors and strong mountains. i went to Conference. i was in the same room as the prophet. i felt the Spirit. i read scriptures with my friends before going to bed. i walked in Temple Square. i sang hymns with my friends around a piano. i laughed. i drove a lot. i sang along to cds. i felt love. i had a new experience that i think has changed me. as of right now, i'm not entirely sure how it has changed me, but that will be determined with time, i'm sure.
i still don't know what to do about that boy. i'm pretty sure whatever was going on between us before is no more, but there is still an amazing friendship to keep strong, and i am thankful for that.
oh well. life is delightful. i just wish that i didn't have to deal with school.
how was your weekend?