Inside This Mind.

12.08.2004 * 12:53 p.m.
fizzle

in the grand scheme of things, i've only existed for a second, a mere blink of eternal eyes. despite that fact, i have a history of twenty-two years and it feels pretty huge to me. my mind is chock full of memories and feelings that get me into trouble. they catch me unawares, early in the morning or in the middle of sleeping dreams. sneaking up behind me, they tap me on the shoulder and grinningly whisper, "Remember me?"

usually, they aren't bad memories in and of themselves. they're really good, and that's what makes them so bad. old feelings so customary that they were once a part of my skin resurface when my subconscience takes the reigns at night. yearnings that were once regular and welcomed creep into the corners of my mind when i let my gaurd down. it's chilling. it makes me wonder at the strength of the five senses, the power of the mind, the weakness of the soul. it makes me dizzy but it gives me a thrill.

people change. lifestyles change. dreams and goals and desires change. but try telling that to a body and a brain that move too slowly to withdraw a hand from the fire before being burned.

(now excuse me while i study history and try to get freaking "Lady in Red" out of my head. how the crap did it get in there in the first place?!?)