Inside This Mind.

09.08.2005 * 7:59 a.m.
it's already thursday?

I'm mailing in my application to CSUEB today. Let's all hope that goes well.

iTunes music store can be a dangerous thing. It sucks me in and I end up spending money at the speed of sound. I am prohibiting myself from going there any more for the next few months. I'm supposed to be saving my pennies, not spending them. Dag yo.

It's hard to feel optimistic at 8 in the morning.

09.06.2005 * 7:56 p.m.
"After feeling sorry for myself and whining a bit..."

The day with small children was good. I love Smith's science program and want to do something like that with my life. I am terribly fond of slow little kids who need extra help with reading. Darn, they're cute.

This evening I hit one of my favorite low points, the one at the bottom where I feel small and sorry for myself. I have this icky feeling of being incapable of carrying out a "real" life. I know the opposite is true. I know I am reasonably amazing and that I will be successful in life, but right now I'm doubting myself. What an awful feeling. As usual I am worrying about money, about school, about tests and procrastination, about jobs, about the ever looming Future. Curses Luke! Seriously.

And in case I haven't said it enough: I miss him.

Oh, and I burnt the roof of my mouth on a hot pocket today.

At least I have friends who love me. (Why do I have to be so far away from so many of you?)