Inside This Mind.

10.29.2005 * 1:28 p.m.
darn him.

A year ago tonight, after hearing from an Apostle of the Lord and shaking his hand, a group of friends were sitting in what is probably a Denny's near the highway in Ventura. And that is when I met him.
His conversation was overly sarcastic and while he was giving others a first impression of a cocky, conceited fool, he was unknowingly weaving a net and catching me in it. His sarcasm was something I could completely relate to and understand. I found him intriguing and hilarious. Looking back, I realize that I was smitten from the very start. He was new and he was wonderful.
I convinced him that he and his friend needed to come to the Halloween dance the following night. They did. He proved himself a good and nobel gentleman at the end of the evening by making sure my roommate arrived home safely. From there on out I was hooked and determined to get to know him better.
And I did. And now my life will never be the same. Darn him and his being so wonderful and our falling in love. I miss him.

.......
Yesterday, while assisting a veterinarian in an attended euthanasia, I became incredibly aware of my pulse. Being with a family as they watched their old dog peacefully fall asleep and not wake up, feeling the pulse of her tired life slow and stop, I was very conscious of my own heart pumping blood through my veins. At that moment I was very grateful and very humbled. Life suddenly stood out, vibrant and obvious, in contrast to it's opposite which had so readily crept into the quiet room.
.......
Tonight I am going to meet up with this new group of people that I am calling my friends, though I'm not certain that I can give them that title yet. We're going to get dinner together and then go to a Halloween party/dance/haunted house in Berkeley. I will be reusing my costume from last year because I'm cheap like that and because I like dressing up as The Man-Slayer, even if the rest of my mafia women won't be there with me.
I hope I have fun.