Inside This Mind.

11.08.2005 * 9:47 p.m.
My lips are chapped.

The last time I was at the Cal State campus in Hayward I felt like a traitor. It most definitely was not my school, not my Santa Barbara, not mine at all. I left the informational meeting certain that I'd never meet the requirements in time, feeling down on myself and pretty much calling my mom wanting to cry.

My visit there today was different. I felt happy to be walking on a college campus. It might not be my UCSB but it's a university and that provides me with a bizarre sense of security. As far as I can tell, my interview went well. I will know by the end of the month if I'm in the teaching credential program or not. How fantastic.

And HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY to JAY, my nearly twin brother from another mother.

11.07.2005 * 8:51 p.m.
Baying back.

Beagle, you taunt me so.
Every time I sign in to Diaryland and your name is highlighted red on my buddy list, I click, just in case you've unlocked that magical diary you keep. I absolutely refuse to remove you from my buddy list. I was thinking about it today, actually. Thinking about how I should leave you a note, say hello. I tried, but apparently you are not accepting new notes. Fair enough. I decided to let it go; at least I made an attempt. And then I saw it. You! You signed my guestbook! I have no way of telling you how delighted I am at the coincidental timing of this contact other than posting it here and hoping you stop by again soon.
So here's hoping.

You're right though. I know that my two feet can stand alone, and they stand alone quite well. They just miss company from time to time. Right now I am learning that when a relationship ends because of timing, because of moving people and moving lives and not because of a lack of love or hope or interest, well, it doesn't completely end. Not when that hope and that love is still so strong. Not right away at least. Only time will tell...

Dogs are the answers to my photography woes. And cats. Oh, and beautiful mountains, and hills with windmills and blue skies with huge clouds. I have an entire world around me that is photo-worthy. There are numberless people, animals, places, and colors that make my life amazing. Sometimes I just forget to open my eyes and see.