Inside This Mind.

02.08.2006 * 4:19 p.m.
George Strait stuck in my head...

I have come to the conclusion that I am doing too much driving. Yesterday, coming home from campus during the bay area rush hour, I sat in traffic for an hour. At first I made the most of my time, enjoying the fresh air, warm sun, and loud music. After a while, I felt like a faceless entity in a herd of mechanical cattle and I can now say that I know I do not like being part of a herd. It's not my style.

Tomorrow morning I am being observed for the first time by my university supervisor. I'm not terrified yet, but I probably will be before long. I don't enjoy being watched and evaluated on my performance. I hated it in middle school and high school during auditions for band. I'm a bit more confident now than I was then, but I still would rather sit down and take a test than have someone stare at me for twenty minutes. I know that I don't have to know exactly what I'm doing; it's a learning experience. Ijust need to chill and remind myself that it will all be fine. Besides, I'm amazing and have nothing to worry about (I will admit, I am a little preoccupied with what I should wear. Ha! I'm such a girl!)

I was about to start whining about the fact that I did not get a letter from Texas for the month of January, but I decided not to worry about that either. The Spaniard is serving a full-time mission, he's busy doing extremely important things. I cannot even be remotely upset about the lack of a letter, so I am not. What a liberating feeling, this absence of fretting! I'm loving it!

I'm living in the now. I still love a Spaniard. I really like a cowboy. I'm a bit of a mess. But I am not worried.