Inside This Mind.

02.19.2006 * 6:12 p.m.
not even eye makeup

While sitting in church today I was hit with a sudden awareness of how selfish I have been lately. Generally, my prayers are nothing if not focused on the well-being of others; lately, they've been more on the nothing side of that spectrum. I started thinking about the people I care about who are going through some seriously hard times. I started crying, and I started praying.

There's my uncle who has been living with HIV for over ten years and is now getting sick, and I'm so afraid. There's my great aunt who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. I love my family so much, but they're so far away, I don't even know them. I wish I did. There's my old boss, a veterinarian I greatly admire, who had an aneurysm and is on a slow road to recovery. A girl I know was in a near-fatal accident last week. My best friend here is going through a rough spot. My friends out serving missions are far from home and constantly in need of support. My brother is mentally ill but convinced that he doesn't have a problem, and though he's "taking" his medication, he is not stable. There are so many more. So many people that I adore that deserve my thoughts, my service, my prayers, yet I have been slacking.
I am vowing right now never to slack in that respect again.

And along those lines, I sent a mass email to a bunch of people I knew in high school about the Overnight Walk happening in July in San Francisco. It's put on by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. You can donate to support people through the website, here. I donated because my friend killed herself a few years ago and her mom is walking in July.

I'm happiest when I forget about the problems I think I have and set my sights on serving others.

(Happy 20th Birthday to the Lil' One serving in Texas.)