Inside This Mind.

01.15.2007 * 10:16 a.m.
MLK Jr.

I've got the day off and I'm not entirely sure what I am going to do with this free time. My favorite playmate has prefered to spend time with another friend and has left me out. It's okay, boys need to be boys, but now I'm a little lonely because most of my friends are working today. Hmm...

I need to shower. I would like to buy some new shoes because my tennis shoes are beat up and dying. I want to go to the top of Mount Diablo and stare across the valley to the snow on the Sierras. I'd like to lie around and read. I should help my family take down the Christmas tree. I want to rent or buy the movie Little Women, since I just finished reading the book.

I think I'll do all of those things.

01.13.2007 * 2:16 p.m.
It's cold outside.

I got home yesterday and fell into a funk of negativity for a variety of reasons.

Part of it has to do with friendships and relationships, with reaching out repeatedly and getting no response, with loving unconditionally and knowing that I always will. Some of it has to do with being tired from working all week, with being a glorified babysitter, with wondering when (or if) certain children will ever really grow up and make something of themselves. Part of it has to do with coming in second place to a movie, and with the words: that is too soon.

I slept the funk off, worked hard this morning, and came home happily smelling of dog. Now I am alone, and I am tired, so I can feel the negativity trying to creep back in again. I won't let it win today because I'm not in the mood to be moody. So there.